December 17 Lesson Learned
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
I learned that I am a lot stronger that I ever imagined, physically and mentally. Last year is when I had my major breakdown, every pain from my past combined with all of the pain I anticipated would come in my future was choking me down. I felt like I would never survive through the end of the torture. To be perfectly honest with you, I did not want to survive anything anymore. I wanted so bad to put myself out of pain, but the only thing that kept me alive then was knowing the pain that that would cause the people I love the most. The image of my loved ones mourning my death is what kept me alive. This year I needed to move past that. I felt like this was the year to change my way of thinking, and I really was able to see the difference between the actual pain in my life and the magnified pain that I was creating. I learned that I had been hiding feelings by always smiling, and then I learned that I didn't have to do that. I learned to be honest with what I felt and what I was going through. I learned that I don't have to take responsibility for everyone else's short comings. I learned that I am not the savior of the world. I learned that little ol' me could only take responsibility for my own actions, and I that's what I plan to continue to do. I want to live my life in a way that is pleasing to my Lord and to my heart, and if I can accomplish that, then I am sure it will also be pleasing to those who truly care for my wellbeing.