The Archives: May 2009 - March 2011

11.18.2010

A Letter to my Father


Today is my dad's birthday, so in honor of the man that helped bring me into this world, I bring to you this blog post, please be handle with care.

Dad,

It hasn't always been easy being your daughter. There have been many nights that I have stayed up heart broken and in tears because of poor choices that you have made. There have been many days that you were the last person in the world that I wanted to see, and you can bet there have been times that I had no energy to listen to your stories, excuses, and short repeatable apologies. But even with all of those nights, days,and rough times, there has never been a moment in my life, not a single second, that I did not love you with all of my heart. Love is tricky like that.

Despite any and all of your flaws, you are my father, and you have been there for me in the times that I couldn't help but to show my flaws to the world. We are two imperfect people in a world of brokenness, and it was you that taught me how to accept that and make the best of life anyway. I thank you for passing to me your faith, your deep intense love, your passion for music and art, and most of all your watery eyes and bleeding heart, they have become a signature trait of mine.

Now that I am on the brink of parenthood I am both scared and excited. There are many lessons that you have taught me over the years that I cannot wait to teach my child, and there are lessons I have learned because of you that I want to make sure I do not have to teach my child. And in case you didn't know, you are going to have a big job coming up, you are going to be the only grandfather that my child will ever know, and I am going to demand the best out of you. If you thought I was tough on you as a daughter, just wait a few more months, I'll show you high expectations, and I know you can totally live up to them, but I will try to remember to give you some room to continue to grow.

I am adding a little video down here, I think you will understand why I choose this song. This is the song we were supposed to dance to at my wedding, it's the one we sang together when I was little, you would always tell me that you were not only my father, but that you also wanted to always be my friend.

I love you dad, and I would like to wish you another year full of life and love and lessons learned.

Love,
Your Little Girl


1 comment:

elizabeth said...

sweet post Jayka. i am pretty sure he's proud of you, he just needs time. i feel like i can sort of relate to you on this because my daughter's father is the same way with her, i hope she gets to grow up lovable like you :)