The Archives: May 2009 - March 2011

7.28.2010

Warning: Cranky Zone Ahead!

Can you say TERRIBLE? That is what my day has been. I woke up extra early today and could not get out of bed. I was at work stressing over things I cannot change. My bad mood caused me to be a grump to my poor hubby during lunch, which lead to a very bad breakdown (more in the next paragraph). I talked to my M.I.A. brother and it totally is tearing me up inside. AND I cannot for the life of me get all of these things out of my mind!!!

SO first off let me tell you that I have FAILED today. During lunch when this was all getting ready to explode I drove my pretty butt over to Mc Donalds and instead of ordering the side salad I usually have, I ordered a 4pc. Chicken Nugget Mini-Meal with a Dr. Pepper. May not sound bad to you, but for a girl who hasn't had meat or soda in a month it was one of the worst things I could have done. The very very worst part of it was that I did it with the intention of hurting myself. I was mad, I could not handle it and I needed to punch a wall, cry into a pillow, or do something destructive, so I let myself down and ended up with a stomach ache and eventually vomiting after only being able to shove two nuggets down my throat.

I usually am the type of person that can express my feelings clearly and direct. I am pretty good at staying positive and putting things into perspective, but I am just so broken right now that I wouldn't know where to begin.

Sorry to unload all of this on to you guys. I really am. GRRRR I wish I could just fix everything and everyone around me right now. I feel like my heart is being strangled.

I wish it could be *THIS* day again!

5 comments:

liz said...

Just relax and breathe. you'll be fine soon! great pic :)

love, keys said...

take it easy darling. every day you get a chance for a new start. handle whats going on right now and dont let it spoil everything around you<3 i hope everything turns out fine babe.

Ashley R said...

<3 <3 <3
I hope everything gets better soon!

LaLa said...

everyone has days like that, we are human but it's up to us to make the most of things and move forward and with a positive attitude ;) Remember today is a gift and yesterday is just a memory now. love you

sheiswinterwest said...

Breathe mama! things will get better :)