Today was the first time in a long time that I went by to see you guys, and as I sat near your graves and talked to you guys all that kept coming out was "I wish you could see how happy I am and what a wonderful husband I have." I want so bad to share my Anthony with you guys, especially you grandpa, I really think that you would be so happy that I found someone so loving, hardworking, and genuine to love me. Mama Cuca I miss your hands on my cheeks as you would lean in to give me my besitos, and Papa I really wish I had had the chance to get to know you. I have been thinking about you guys a lot lately, wondering what stories of my family's history you could share. Grandpa, I wonder what you sounded like, what you smelled like, how it would have been to have been hugged by you. My heart hurts so much when I think about how I was robbed of your presence in my life, I am sure you would have given me quarters to buy candy from the lady that lived next door to grandma when I was little, and I bet you would have been the loudest singer at Christmas and Thanksgiving when we sat around with our guitars. Mama, I wish you were still here so that you could see my little house, right here in Soledad, our hometown, you would like looking outside of the window, there is a lot going on on this street. Most of all I wish you guys would have been around to see me get married. I wore a long white dress, and I used your rosary in my bouquet grandma, and I also wore your earrings and necklace. I love you both so very much and you are deeply missed.
Dearest Tio Mac,
Last Friday I was driving to Monterey and an Aretha Franklin song came on and it reminded me of you. One day we were at your house and Respect came on and you walked in from outside and you did a little dance and said "That woman can sing." Simple memories like these creep into my daily life and will never let me go a day without thinking of you. I miss you so much, everyone does. I know you are at peace now, and no longer have to suffer the pains of Cancer, but selfish me, I wish you were still here. My last time with you is a memory that I will never forget, I even shared it with all of your friends at your farewell services, I was honored to give your eulogy by the way. You were always so practical, so down to Earth, and I wish you could have met Anthony, he is much like you in those ways. I hope over the years that he finds his way in this family the way that you did. You are a great example of what a good man can be, and of how important family is. You brought me so many great memories, especially when we were all younger and would sleep over at your house. There would be at least 8 of us there at the same time and you would talk to us, play with us, and makes us feel safe and loved. I remember one day when I went over to your house with a tub full of baseball cards you sat with me for hours telling me all about the players. You told me which cards were good cards and which ones to trade away, you always made time for our visits, and I will treasure them forever. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I miss you so so so very much.
-your goddaughter and niece