Guest Blogger: Laruen from laurenecc.blogspot.com/
Love. It's an interesting concept. You could search your whole life for it and never find what you're looking for or it can come to you when you least it expect it. I found my love when I wasn't even looking, I didn't even want it! I was 18 years old and had just ended a very serious relationship. My ex-boyfriend was moving and wanted me to come with him, he even proposed, ring and everything, but I had just graduated high school and was getting ready to go away to college, plus I knew this wasn't the guy for me, as everyone said, he really wasn't good enough for me! I went into college with my eyes wide open looking to have fun, meet people, and just be a college freshman. I partied all the time, met lots of guys, and did my part to live up to the stereotypes. I was having fun, that's all that mattered, until I met "him." Not even two months into college I met the boy through friends. My good friend was hooking up with one of his teammates and I was dragged along to a party. He thought I was pretty, I liked his roommate. We kept running in to each other through our mutual friends and one night I got drunk, really drunk, fall down, stupid drunk. Most guys would have used my inebriated state to their advantage but not him. He held my hair back as I threw up in between the subway cars and carried me back to my dorm. I would have let him do pretty much anything but he got me water and put me to bed. I still wasn't looking for a boyfriend, no matter how nice he was, it just didn't interest me, until one night I drank far too much again and another guy took advantage of me. The next day I was supposed to go to his soccer game but I was so hungover and ashamed of myself, I wouldn't leave my dorm. He knew something was up and since we went to a very small school, word got around and he was mad. Actually, mad would be an understatement. He was disappointed and upset and never wanted to talk to me or see my face ever again. My heart broke, and that's when I knew I really liked this guy and he could be very special in my life. After some intense groveling and the petitioning of a good friend of mine, he talked to me again. After much tears and him yelling at me, things turned around and we were together.
After dating for a year and a half, I got bored. It happens when you become so complacent in a relationship. We did the same thing every night. I would go over to his apartment, we would hang out with his roommates, and go to sleep. We rarely went out and if we did, it was usually at my insistence. My sophomore year had just ended and I wanted out. I was spending the summer in the city and had an internship and I wanted to have fun by myself, so I became increasingly selfish and broke up with him. He almost died and I just didn't care. Until I got bored with my new found freedom and we got back together two months later. Getting back together because I was lonely and bored was probably the worst decision ever as all of our previous problems were still around, unresolved, and I was becoming more and more restless and him more and more annoyed with me. By January of my Junior year, we were always at each others throats and needed to end things, and I thought for good. This break-up was different. We didn't really talk after all the fighting and I started dating someone else very quickly. That guy was nice enough but a bit stifling for my taste, and as I had just turned 21 and went on spring break, I knew this wouldn't be working out. I had fun being single. I was back in the city for the summer for another internship and many of my friends were around, so there wasn't the boredom again, until he e-mailed me out of the blue to say hi. He had graduated in May and started his full-time job only a few blocks from my internship. He had heard I was doing well and wanted to see for himself, I guess. We decided to meet for drinks at a posh rooftop bar that he picked out, I think to impress me. I dressed my best, I guess to show him what he didn't have anymore, and ordered expensive drinks. We enjoyed each other, though at first it was awkward, both of us very guarded. Way to go wine. He was living in a new apartment a few blocks from my apartment and got a cab to take us back. One thing led to another and we were back to being "us." This was an on-going situation. He would call me for drinks or dinner, I'd allow myself to be wined and dined, we'd sleep together again, I'd go back to my apartment. This went on for a full month and a half, until a Friday night when it was raining like crazy and I let myself sleep over. That's all I needed and I let my guards down. Things were different with us this time. We both had matured and had been hurt enough to be worried about getting hurt from each other again. We weren't official for a few months after that, until I broke down. I was about to graduate college myself and nothing was going as planned. I felt like I was nothing and wanted to die. He didn't allow me to and helped me become a stronger person. Never before had I let myself depend on a person as much as I did with him. I needed to. He was, and still is, exactly what I needed.
People say that everything happens for a reason, and I couldn't agree more. My relationship has had so many twists and turns over the last five years but I wouldn't have it any other way. The things we did were necessary for us to become to people we are today. Our relationship is built on mutual respect and adoration. The love is undying. We have our rocky days and don't always agree on everything, and I would never say that our relationship, or either of us, are perfect, but it is perfect for who were are.