LOVE STORIES 2010
Guest Blogger Duke from dukefandango.blogspot.com
Being a mildly autistic Britisher I can struggle to express myself clearly when it comes to love. This was proven by an incident this week.
I came home from school and quite casually announced to my (much) better half that I wanted to work abroad from September and that this is something I wanted to do by myself. Without her. Alone.
As you can possibly imagine, this had all of the positive repercussions of say, a road-side bomb outside a primary school. For orphans.
The thing is it really isn’t some elaborate way of getting out of a relationship (although I don’t doubt it would be more effective than the usual – you know, start by being distant, not sending messages, grunting instead of talking then move on to being passive-aggressive in the sub-conscious hope that she’ll get fed up and do the icky breaking up bit for you allowing you to claim the victim and get sympathy off of other women…this is the manly way). I’d like to think that if I wasn’t happy I would be honest.
But I am so happy to be with her that it sometimes seems unreal, like healthy cigarettes or a single word that Simon Cowell says without me wanting to hurt him.
After the initial Hiroshima-esque fallout had dispersed we talked. I explained that I loved her beyond imagining. She said that she had never been so happy. I said that I was sorry. She said so was she. She asked why. I said that I needed to do something different, that I needed to see the world, relying on no one but myself.
She said she understood.
We talked for a long time. We decided that it was possible for us to work even if I was in Guam, or Nigeria, or Belgium (actually no, Belgium’s shit). We agreed that it could happen and it would be better to try than give up now. That this life we share is important; too important to throw away.
I’ve never known true love before but surely having someone who loves you so much that they are willing to let you follow your dreams is tantamount to the fact that I have stumbled into it.
That, and the fact that I broke my own heart as I watched her’s unravel.
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